The Oscar's Expand to Field to 10 Best Picture Nominees

A copy of a secret letter sent out by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences after the announcement of the expansion of the Best Picture Field

Dear Academy Member, in order to spread the prestige and integrity (and big box office returns) of Academy Awards around, the Academy has doubled the amount of films in the Best Picture category and has added the following new award categories. Please also note that in an effort to attract a younger audience, we ask you to indicate which of the following Lifetime Achievement Award winners should be slimed as part of the ceremonies; Sidney Poitier, Peter O’Toole, or Sophia Loren.

The American Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences®

New Award Categories – OFFICIAL BALLOT

Best Picture Written Backwards from the Title Aliens in the Attic Hotel for Dogs Tyler Perry’s Medea Goes to Jail Monsters vs. Aliens Ghosts of Girlfriends Past	Best Performance by a Body Part Zac Efron’s Hair in 17 Again Kevin James’ Gut in Paul Blart: Mall Cop Sacha Baron Cohen’s Package in Bruno John Travolta’s Hair Piece in Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 Megan Fox’s Legs, Butt, Boobs, and Lips in Transformers 2
Best Picture that Spared People from Having to Read a Book The Lovely Bones Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince Watchmen The Road Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs	Best Casting Against Type Mariah Carey as an Ugly Person in Precious Adam Sandler as a popular Comedian in Funny People Hugh Jackman not singing and dancing in XMen Origins: Wolverine Owen Wilson as someone who has been to a museum in Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian Mike Tyson as Wealthy and non-brain damaged in The Hangover
Best Original Concept for a Motion Picture Land of the Lost Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs Hannah Montana: The Movie Friday the 13th G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra	Best Use of Extra Dimensions in a Film Up: In 3-D My Bloody Valentine 3-D G-Force: in 3-D Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs: in 3-D Jonas Brothers the 3-D Concert Experience
Best Performance by an Actor Who is Apparently not Dead Vin Diesel in Fast and Furious Paul Walker in Fast and Furious Leonard Nimoy in Star Trek Shannon Elizabeth in Night of the Demons Jeff Goldblum in Adam Resurrected	Best Possible Nipple Sighting Is that Megan Fox’s Nipple? In Transformers 2 I Think I see Hayden Panetierre’s Nipple in I Love You, Beth Cooper That’s Totally Beyonce’s Nipple in Obsessed Zoe Saldana’s Nipples! In Star Trek Dude! That looks like Hermione’s Nipple! in Harry Potter Two: The Half Blood Prince