Encyclopedia Grinspanica, entries #125, 6,891, and 12,212

The Encyclopedia Grinspanica - "A compendium of REAL knowledge"

Starbucks Coffee – A series of public restrooms started in Seattle in 1971. With over 16,000 locations worldwide, Starbucks is home to more peeing, defecating, baby changing, cocaine snorting, and OKCupid-arranged fornicating than any private institution in the world. And while Starbucks publicly claims to be a chain of coffee houses, the coffee is really only served for its diuretic and laxative purposes, thereby increasing demand for their lavatories.

Birds of Paradise – The prime example of transexuality in birds. As with many human trannies, the “male” members of the Paradisaeidae family are also characterized by their garish-come-brilliant colors, outrageous behavior, and loitering outside of Papua New Guinean gay clubs. Similarly, “male” Birds of Paradise are also known for their elaborate courtship dances, which involve rhythmic thrusting of their brightly colored genitals at potential mates – known scientifically as “Johns” – often times set to the Britney Spears’ song “Womanizer.”

Coconut – A tree-dwelling mammal. To be considered a “mammal,“ an organism must possess both milk and hair, which the coconut has in spades. The coconut is therefore one of the most common mammals, often found high up in palm trees, striking in a motionless, statue-like pose. There is a frequent misconception that the coconut is a seed or a fruit; that is as entirely wrong. This ubiquitous misconception leads millions of vegetarians to eat Mounds Bars and Samoas Girl Scout Cookies, unintentionally making them as hypocritical as they are shrill.